He called you every day for a week, but now he seems distracted.

What is it that attracts a guy only for a short time before he moves on? How do some girls get a guy and keep him? What’s the secret?

Pick up any secular women’s magazine, and it will tell you to: Do this, try that, wear this outfit, put on this makeup. Commercials do the same thing. If you have this car, all the guys will want to be with you. People who drink this drink have great relationships. Chew this gum, and you’ll be popular.

OK, so we don’t believe all those things, but who’s going to tell us the real answer?

Not the world, because the world doesn’t know!

“How you get him is how you must keep him.” That’s a quote from a guy who preached in chapel when I was in college. He made sense, and it changed the way I thought about getting and trying to keep a guy. We girls have lots of ways to get guys’ attention. Most of them work for attracting guys. Most of them don’t work for keeping a guy.

How are you catching his attention?
• Your body?
If you’re getting a guy’s interest by wearing clothes that would fit better on a Barbie than on you, you’re headed for trouble. It’s your body he’s attracted to, not you. As soon as a better body walks by, or a girl is willing to show more or share more than you are, you’ve lost him.

If you’re wearing clothes that say you’re cheap, you won’t attract a guy who will respect you. You’ve already let everyone know you don’t respect yourself.

• Your paint job?
Would your daily makeup ritual impress a landscape artist? Are you afraid to go out unless you’re wearing makeup? Problem is, if you get a guy by using a fake face, what happens when he sees the real one? If he doesn’t recognize you, or if he screams and runs away, you have issues.

My husband has told me that one of the reasons he was attracted to me at first was because I showed up one night without my makeup on, and he thought it was cool that I could be myself. He thinks I’m beautiful just as me—how great is that? It’s not that I never wear makeup anymore; it’s just that I don’t have to to feel like a worthwhile person.

• Your popularity?
Ever watched The Princess Diaries? The jerk guy in the movie was all about this one. He was with the popular cheerleader until someone else got the spotlight. Then off he went in search of the limelight. You really don’t want a guy that lame, do you?

• Your help?
Got a guy who needs you? It feels good to be needed. But if he needs and needs and doesn’t give anything back, you’ll eventually begin to feel like his mother. No, thanks!

• Your manipulation abilities?
We girls all have this power inside us. If you get your guy by manipulating him, you have to keep him by more and more manipulation. Stretching the truth starts small but will quickly grow out of control. Not to mention the guy will get tired of being manipulated, and you can guess what happens next.

. . .

Let’s see how these work in real life.

The Facts
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. They didn’t last, but why not? Well, let’s go back a few years to how she got him in the first place. They did a movie together. They did a sex scene together. Next thing you know, Tom’s divorcing his first wife so he can marry Nicole.

Time passes. He does more movies with other women. He does sex scenes with other women. Sure enough, along comes a beautiful woman, and Tom’s gone. Nicole got him, but somebody else got him the same way.

So how do you attract a guy and keep him attracted? Attract him with something that lasts, something that isn’t going to fade away or wash off: The real you!

Your character, your personality, your walk with God, your quirky sense of humor.

If it’s the real you he’s fallen for, nobody else can replicate that. You’re unique. If he sees the specialness of who you are, you don’t have to worry about the girl who’s showing off her body or the superpopular one or the manipulative girls. He’s attracted to you, and they’re not you. Voila!!

If losing a fake you and changing back into the real you will lose some guys’ interest, don’t let that stop you. Even if it means no guy is interested for a while because you’re dressing modestly, not being manipulative and not doing everything the popular crowd wants, keep being yourself.

Someday, if it’s in God’s plan for you to be married, He wants you to have a man with whom you can be yourself for the rest of your life.

OK? God made only one you, so don’t insult His work by trying to be somebody else instead. Just be yourself. And enjoy it!

How Can You Know if You’re Being the Real You?
1. Is the Lord first?
If you’re putting a guy over God, things need to change.

2. Do you care more about your character than your outer looks?
God says inner beauty is worth more than outer beauty.

3. What are you willing to compromise for this guy?
If you’re tempted to set aside what’s right to keep his attention, you’re not being real to yourself or God.

4. Are you friends with this guy?
Do you enjoy hanging out together? Can you laugh together, or do you have to be too cool to be fun?

5. Can you share what you think?
Are you free to share your opinions, ideas and experiences, or do you mostly just listen to his and agree?

How’d you do? Have you been putting on an act to get a guy’s attention? If that’s how you get them, then that’s how you must keep them!