I need help, but how do I go about asking my parents to get me a therapist? We’re not close at all, and they’ve never tried to be involved in my life.
Messed Up

Dear Messed Up:
I’m proud of you for recognizing that you need help instead of living in denial. I want you to get to the place where you know you’re not inadequate and boring. God has a wonderful plan for your life, and that’s exciting!

I’m sorry your parents don’t recognize that there’s a problem, but you’re not going to be able to get the help you need without talking with them. Unless you’re 18 or older, you’ll need their consent to be treated by a therapist.

So make a point to talk seriously with them. Something like, “OK, I need you both to really listen and hear what I’m saying. I’m not a psycho, but I need and want some professional counseling. I used to smoke pot—I don’t anymore—and I’m afraid it’s messed up my mind a bit. Again, please take me seriously. Can you help me make an appointment with a counselor?”

If your plea falls on deaf ears, talk with your school counselor or your pastor. And when you do go for counseling, seek a professional Christian counselor.

Dear Susie:
My boyfriend recently came to my house after a meeting with his pastor, and he told me that because he struggles with loving God more than with loving me, we needed to take an indefinite break until he can fix it.

I was totally floored! This was so unexpected. I tried to convince him to reconsider, not because I want him to love me more than God, but because I don’t see why we need to be completely separated (no e-mail, no seeing each other, no phone calls, nothing) while he works on making God the center of our relationship.

I feel so abandoned and lonely. We’ve been dating for a year and a half, and he’s my best friend. I’ve been praying that God will be sufficient for me, but it doesn’t make the hurting stop. I know my boyfriend wouldn’t do this if he wasn’t convinced it was the right thing to do, but I really don’t think it is.
Hurting

Dear Hurting:
Want my total honesty? I’m really proud of your boyfriend. I wish more Christian guys would allow this kind of accountability with their pastors. This tells me your boyfriend really wants to be in the center of God’s will.

Think about it: Isn’t that the kind of man you’ll eventually want to spend the rest of your life with? Someone you know is obedient to his heavenly Father and cares about being the spiritual leader of your home?

I understand your hurt, and just because you’re asking God to remove the pain doesn’t mean He will. Think back to Christ’s time in the garden before His crucifixion. He was so emotionally stressed that He sweated blood! God didn’t remove the pain, but God provided His strength and presence.

And God will do the same for you. He may not change your situation, but He can change your heart. Just as your boyfriend wants to make sure He’s in God’s will, I challenge you to do the same. Will you find an older female Christian to hold you accountable and pray with you? And draw strength from the fact that God has promised never to leave you. He’s with you in the midst of your pain. (See Matthew 28:20.)