Dear Susie:
I’m 17, and I have a problem with bulimia. There are so many things in my life right now that are scary, confusing and out of my control. All too often, I turn to food for comfort instead of Christ. After a binge, I panic when I realize how much junk I’ve just consumed and how fat I’ll get because of it.
I spend the next half hour in the bathroom, sobbing and desperately trying to throw up. I feel like dying. I love God so much, but this is spinning out of my control. I need your help, Susie. I’m afraid to tell my parents, because I doubt they’ll understand. Please, please help me!
Desperate
Dear Desperate:
I hope somehow you can feel me hugging you through the magazine. I’m praying for you as I write this, and I hope you’ll allow God to help you see yourself through His eyes. Know what He sees? A princess! God isn’t consumed with calories and fat grams; He’s focused on your heart. And He loves you more than you can comprehend, articulate or even imagine.
I love your honesty in “this is spinning out of my control.” You’re exactly right! I’m glad you recognize that. You may also be right about your parents not understanding . . . but you still need to tell them, because you have to get professional help. This is too big for you, and it’s also too big for your folks.
Make sure you read the cover story in this issue and draw hope from the fact that others have been where you are and have received healing.
Dear Susie:
I have a very nice boyfriend, and we’ve been dating for almost a year. I know it wouldn’t be considered “Christian” to sleep with him, but what would be considered acceptable behavior? Is any physical activity prior to marriage considered a sin?
Wondering
Dear Wondering:
Instead of wondering “how much can I get away with and still be considered a Christian,” I wish you’d refocus your thoughts to “Dear Jesus, show me everything I can do to grow closer to You.”
Do you have an intimate, growing relationship with Jesus? If you do, you’re in love with Him. And when you love Him, you want to obey Him. I’m going to pull out the Living Bible: “And how can we be sure that we belong to him? By looking within ourselves: are we really trying to do what he wants us to?” (1 John 2:3).
And check out 1 John 2:5.
Sexual purity isn’t simply refraining from intercourse. It’s a lifestyle! Sexual intimacy outside of marriage is wrong. Why? Because God has a higher standard for sexual intimacy: marriage. Hebrews 13:4 talks about keeping the marriage bed pure and the fact that there are consequences if we fail to do so.
Dear Susie:
Last year I experienced serious depression and was cutting and getting high on chemicals. Then I became a Christian (or so I thought). But drugs and the gang lifestyle have a hard pull on me, especially the drugs.
I thought I’d be free of that, but I’m back into snorting chemicals again. I know most girls don’t have problems with being part of gangs, but my whole town is gang territory, and a lot of the gangsters are my friends. I don’t even know if I want to change or why I’m writing you. All I know is that the drugs are affecting my schoolwork, and I really want to graduate high school.
Rebel
Dear Rebel:
You’re questioning if you really want to change. I believe you do, because you took the time to write. God never promised that all our problems would disappear when we place our trust in Him. He does promise to stay with us and to give us the power we need to overcome those problems.
He not only wants to help you gain victory over drugs, but He wants to protect you and teach you to trust in Him rather than a gang. You’re in a tough situation, because you’re surrounded by gang activity, and you’re struggling to change your entire lifestyle.
You’ve learned that this is impossible on your own. So let God help! When you’re tempted to snort, stop and pray. Tell God exactly what you’re feeling and lean on His strength to overcome.
When you’re lonely and tempted to involve yourself in gang activity, stop and pray. Tell God you need to feel His presence and His strength.
I wish we could actually sit down and talk through this, because I realize I can only offer limited advice in a magazine. But in a nutshell: 1. Establish some accountability (with a pastor, an older Christian friend, a youth leader.) 2. Get plugged into church, youth group and a Bible study. This will help you surround yourself with Christian friends who can become your support system. 3. Ask God to forgive you for returning to your old ways and tell Him you’re going to trust in His strength. 4. Memorize this Scripture. (I like the way it’s stated in the Living Bible): “But remember this—the wrong desires that come into your life aren’t anything new and different. Many others have faced exactly the same problems before you. And no temptation is irresistible. You can trust God to keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it, for he has promised this and will do what he says. He will show you how to escape temptation’s power so that you can bear up patiently against it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).
