He started e-mailing me a few months ago. I’m not saying he’s “the one,” but he has carried a special place in my heart for 10 years. Is it valid for me to want to know for sure that he’s not the one before getting involved with another guy?

Searching

Dear Searching:
How exciting to reconnect with a special friend after so many years! It’s great that you’re corresponding. You can actually get to know a lot about someone through long-distance communication, as long as it’s honest.

I encourage you not to put your life on hold to see if he’s “the one.” Go ahead and enjoy college life and be willing to develop special friendships with other Christian guys while you’re maintaining correspondence with your MK pal.

If he’s moving toward more than a friendship with you, he’ll make it known. He’ll invite you to visit his campus, or he’ll visit yours; he’ll find a way to get with you if he’s interested in pursuing something deeper than a friendship. Meanwhile, enjoy the environment and the people that God has placed around you.

Dear Susie:
I recently ran away from home for the third time. The cops had to come get me, and my mom was freaking out when they brought me home. She’s now sent me to a boot camp to try to teach me a lesson. I’ve been writing poems about dying, and I’ve started cutting myself again. I know it’s not the right way to handle this issue, but I don’t know any other way to get out the pain (except for talking about it, which I don’t want to do).

My mom has told everyone (including my teachers) about my running away, and now all these adults are pulling me aside and giving me lectures; some even yell at me. I think I’m ready to end my life right now but thought I’d consult you first. Please tell me what to do. I really value and trust your opinion.

Overwhelmed

Dear Overwhelmed:
Sigh. My heart’s breaking for you. I so badly wish I didn’t have to communicate with you through a small space in a magazine. I’d much rather be with you in person. But here we are, and we’ll make the best of it, OK?

First, suicide is never the answer!

Repeat that out loud, OK? “Suicide is NEVER the answer!” (Now say it again. And again. And again. Never, ever, ever EVER!)

I’m guessing your mom has shared your troubles because she’s worried about you and feels as though she’s at the end of her rope. I wish I knew what prompted your being sent to boot camp and why you’ve been running away from home. Obviously, you’re dealing with extreme pain.

I want you to know¬—beyond doubt—that God loves you and understands what you’re experiencing. Grab a Bible and read Psalm 139. As you read, ask God to minister to you and to help you feel His love.

Does the program you’re in provide counseling? If so, please talk with a staff member about your suicidal feelings. It’s extremely important to get help with this now. Please share your feelings with your mom as well and encourage her to call our counseling department at Focus on the Family: 1-719-531-3400 ext. 7700. For more assurance from God’s Word, read Lamentations 3:16-24.

Right now the best thing you can do is get as close to God as you can (place your faith in Him, seek His forgiveness, ask Him to be your Savior) and be submissive to the rules at boot camp. You will get better, but it’s going to be a process. Also, know that we love you and are praying for you.

Dear Susie:
I read stories a lot about girls and guys who have purity rings. I’d love to have one to outwardly express my commitment to remain pure until marriage. But my parents never got me one, or even brought up the idea of having one. I’ve heard of dads buying them for their daughters, but my dad has never said anything about getting one, and I’d feel weird asking for it. I’m 17 now. Would it be pointless to get one so late in life? And would it be wrong to buy one for myself?

Confused

Dear Confused:
It’s never to late to get a purity ring! I don’t think you should feel weird about asking your parents for one; it could be that they simply haven’t heard of them or don’t know where to get them. But it would be a great thing to tell them you want a ring for Christmas or your birthday and explain why you want it.

And no, there’s certainly nothing wrong with purchasing one yourself. BUT . . . I happen to have an extra one in my office that’s brand-new and still in the package. I’ll be glad to give it to you. Watch your mailbox, OK?

For other readers who are interested in purity jewelry, you can get all kinds of great stuff from factory79.com.