Confused

Dear Confused:
God calls us to love everyone. The only reason I’d suggest you back away from her is if you’re being tempted. You’re right, homosexual behavior is a sin, but it’s a sin that God will forgive from a repentant heart.

Dear Susie:
I want to dress modestly, but I was wondering if spaghetti- strapped or strapless shirts are immodest. I don’t see the problem as long as they’re tasteful and don’t show cleavage or a midriff. Does not having straps really tempt guys?

Wondering

Dear Wondering:
I admire your desire to dress modestly. You go, Girl! Here’s the scoop: Not having straps and even showing straps can be tempting to guys. What?!?!

May I be blunt? Though all humans are sexual beings, guys are wired completely differently than girls are. They’re turned on easily and quickly by sight. So when a gal wears a tight top, a short skirt, a strapless shirt or even allows her bra straps to be exposed, a guy can easily get sexually excited. And this is true for all guys—Christians as well as nonbelievers.

I realize that may sound crazy to you. And I know it’s difficult to understand, but I hope you’ll take it seriously. Some girls think, If a guy is turned on by what I wear, that’s his fault!

Guys can direct where their eyes land, but they can’t help how they were created. So it really is our responsibility as Christian women to help keep guys from being tempted. And we can do that by dressing modestly.

Dear Susie:
I’m 17 years old, and I’m not allowed to date or court. My parents say I’m too young to be in a serious relationship, but I’m totally in love with this guy at my church. We’re really good friends, and we want our friendship to be the foundation for a God-centered relationship.

He’s a great Christian guy and is a leader in my youth group. I’ve been dating him for a year and a half, and both of our parents know we like each other. We’ve tried to get our parents to sit down with us so we can talk about it, but they’re always too busy, or they don’t want to talk about it.

We’ve made a purity agreement, written it down on paper and signed it. We both want to do the right thing, but we love each other. How do I approach the situation and get my parents to see my perspective?

Perplexed

Dear Perplexed:
I’m sorry your parents haven’t agreed to talk with you and your guy friend, but I also have to let you know that it’s not right to go behind their backs and disobey them by dating when they’ve specifically told you not to date or court.

You mentioned they won’t talk with you and your boyfriend together, and that’s probably because they’ve already told you their decision. But I’m guessing they’ll talk with you alone. So that’s where you need to begin.

Sit down with your parents and be honest with them. Tell them you’ve been dating him, and ask their forgiveness. Also ask if the three of you can pray about the relationship every day. God is certainly big enough to change your parents’ hearts and minds if He wants you two together right now.

But you also need to be obedient and realize that if your parents tell you to break up, you’ll need to do that. But you can continue to pray that God will work things out according to His will. It could be if you break up, God will bring you back together in a year with your parents’ blessing. If not, trust that God has someone else even better for you.

Bottom line: It all comes down to two things. First, you need to obey your parents. Second, trust that God knows what’s best for you.