At the end of my rope

Dear At the end:
First of all, I’m proud of you for seeing a counselor. It’s not easy to discuss the hurtful things inside of us, but you gathered the courage to do so.

Now may I be blunt with you?

You say, “I can’t imagine going through this darkness again and surviving.” Then don’t!

You’ve already established a support system (counseling), so take advantage of it, use it and pour your heart out to God for the discipline and strength you’ll need to turn your life around. I’m excited about your progress, and I encourage you to stay the course with your counselor.

Dear Susie:
Do you believe someone can fall in love more than once?

Wondering

Dear Wondering:
Instead if using the phrase “falling in love,” I’d rather use “being in love.” And yes, I believe we can be in love several times in our lifetime. Take Elisabeth Elliot, for example. Elisabeth married Jim Elliot, missionary to Ecuador. Maybe you know his story; he was killed by Auca Indians when he tried to share the Gospel with them. She later remarried, but her second husband eventually died as well. She married a third time, and both are still alive.

Elisabeth didn’t only love her first husband. She’s been in love multiple times. But Elisabeth knows a great secret: She understands that love is more than feeling; it’s a commitment. It’s dedicating your life to someone and striving to help that person become all God wants for him.

Dear Susie:
My boyfriend smokes and has done drugs in the past, but he’s so nice to me! He’s the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. He’s trying to quit, because I’ve asked him to. My mom has met him and thought he was a sweet guy, but she judges him because of things she hears from people in my church. Also, she won’t let me hang out with him since technically I’m not supposed to date till I’m 16.

What can I say to get my mom off my back? I’ve been trying to get him to come to my church, but he’s been grounded, because his mom found out he smokes. I don’t know what to do.

Confused

Dear Confused:
Here are some questions I have for you:

• Why are you disobeying your mom by dating this guy?

• Why are you even dating this guy?

• So he says he’ll try to quit smoking for you. Big deal. Unless he does it for himself, it probably won’t last. And why do you think that’s special that he’ll try to quit for you? He should be trying to quit for much bigger reasons (God, health, obeying his parents).

• He’s grounded, and you still want to date him?

Oh . . . and your question about how to get your mom off your back? Count your blessings and be glad she is on your back! She truly cares about you.