The world’s standards of beauty have changed. Girls wear practically nothing! They look as if they should be at the beach, but instead they’re walking around school. It’s not easy to dress modestly in a world that says, “The sexier you dress, the more beautiful you are.”

This message isn’t true, but I believed it. When I started high school, the pressures of being beautiful and attracting guys overwhelmed me, and I gave in. I’d wear the shortest skirts I could find and tie my shirts up around my waist, while unbuttoning the first few buttons to show off some cleavage.

I definitely got attention, but it really wasn’t the kind I wanted. I wanted true love so badly. I wanted to find a boyfriend, but not just any boyfriend; I wanted to find my future husband. Sure, I was only in high school, but I wanted a fairy-tale romance, complete with Prince Charming! What I didn’t realize was that the only guys who wanted to date me were the one’s who wanted to use me and have sex with me. The sweet-hearted type of guy I wanted to marry would never want to date me dressed like that!

When guys looked at me, they saw my body, and that’s what they wanted. They didn’t want my heart. They wanted sex. Why? Because that’s the image I walked around displaying. My clothes, my attitude about the way I dressed, the way I carried myself all screamed “SEX!” to the guys in my school.

Not only that, but I was making other girls around me insecure. It’s almost like a chain of insecurity. When I saw a girl dressed immodestly, it made me feel like I needed to dress that way to be beautiful. And in turn, I caused other girls around me to be insecure, and they felt like they needed to dress that way, too! It was a brutal circle of insecurity, and I was a part of it.

Plus, I was causing guys to sin by looking at me lustfully, which isn’t the way God wants guys to look at girls. He wants guys to appreciate female beauty, but not in a dishonoring, sexual way. Soon after realizing these things, I knew I had to change. I didn’t want to be part of the circle that caused other girls to dress sexy, and I didn’t want to cause guys to fall into lust!

From the Inside Out
I started by reading Bible verses that would help me focus on inner beauty. I posted 1 Peter 3:3-4 on my closet wall: “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.”

I went through my closet, but it wasn’t easy. I got rid of anything that looked immodest. The hardest part was getting rid of things that I didn’t think were immodest but that I knew wouldn’t meet God’s approval. Sometimes my opinion didn’t line up with how I knew God wanted me to dress.

There were a few shirts I loved, but they were just a little too tight. Sometimes I ended up in tears as I was getting rid of clothes, and that’s when I realized it had gotten out of control. My appearance was way too important to me, and I had stopped focusing on my inward beauty.

After finally managing to redo my wardrobe, I decided to work on my inward beauty. I would write down the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) in my journal every night and rate myself on them. Using a scale from one to 10, I would rate how well I lived each one that day and make note of which ones I needed to pray about and work on improving.

Lasting Beauty
By focusing more on God and inward beauty, my view of outward beauty dramatically changed. But every now and then, I still get caught up in it, even years after I’ve graduated from high school. Girls are girls, and we’ll always want to be beautiful. But it’s how we view beauty that really makes us beautiful.

Learning and living out inner beauty taught me that outward beauty doesn’t come from cute clothes and $100 haircuts. It comes from within. It sounds so cliché. Everyone says that, but it’s really true. When I began to respect myself and dressed to please God, my confidence shone through in my outward appearance.

My clothes are still fashionable (well, sometimes!), and I still don’t like to leave the house without brushing my hair. But the difference is, I don’t focus on it. I don’t spend hours in front of the mirror trying to look like celebrities. My beauty comes from within—my character and the condition of my heart.

So I’ve decided to be part of this circle instead: the circle that motivates and encourages other girls to respect themselves and the guys around them by not flaunting their bodies in revealing clothing.

Do you? Which circle do you want to be part of? The one that makes a difference and turns hearts toward true beauty or the one that makes girls feel insecure and guys fall into lust?

Me? I want to be part of the circle of true beauty—the kind of beauty that lasts for eternity.