Kyle: We actually beat the Fighting Sea-Gnomes in soccer!

Brandon: Cuz of my skills we did. I was human lightning, moving like a tornado with feet, a tidal wave of rapid-fire, in-your-face, now-you-see-me, now-you-don’t, samurai-commando-angry-zebra-guy action!

Kyle: Don’t you just work in the snack bar?

Now, I bet you noticed exactly what I did in that conversation: Everyone knows zebras don’t get angry! (Oh, and Brandon seems a little prideful.)

But this leads me to a few thoughts:

a. I usually write about the differences between guys and girls.

b. But pride is something guys and girls both battle.

c. Who invented mini corn dogs? Every bite is a treasure chest of flavor!

Here’s a secret: Guys like to act as if they’ve got it all together. Everything is under control—even if it’s not. And really, this is pride. I deal with this every time something car- or house-related breaks, and my wife, Sally, walks by:

Sally: What do you think it is?

Me (looking at car): I’m pretty sure it’s . . . that thing. The electro . . . dualizer . . . onium . . . er.

Sally: You’re pointing at the tire.

To a guy, the most terrifying phrase he can say to a girl is, “I don’t know.” Many of us are afraid to show weaknesses, fears or anything that makes us feel vulnerable or look silly. And it’s even harder to overcome around girls.

Apology Accepted
Thanks to pride, guys also struggle with two little words: I’m sorry. (Some also struggle with these two words: carrot salad—but can you blame us?) Apologizing has a strange side effect—it zaps many guys’ ability to talk.

Brandon (to Kelly—after 25 minutes of silence): Hey, I uh, you . . . it’s like I, I what I, well, um, you see . . . there’s this, I gotta, um . . . OK, so.

[10 more minutes of mumbling, wringing hands, head moving like a parrot]

Brandon: . . . all right, here goes me:

KellyI’msorryIhurtyourfeelingsIpromiseI’llneverdancelikeapirateinfrontofyourparentseveragainpleaseforgiveme! Gotta go!

[Spins around and runs right into a parked car.]

I Win!
Of course, competitiveness, when taken too far, is an obvious pride issue. Some guys will brag, trash-talk and one-up each other about anything.

These phrases were actually overheard at one school. *

• “Nobody has shoelaces like me. I’m the Shoe Czar!”

• “The ants in my yard are way faster than those ants.”

• “When I’m done with this mad-dog flute solo, you’re gonna wish you played the harp.”

Pride can be a constant struggle for guys and girls. Thankfully, there’s an antidote that works for guys and girls, too. The answer is prayer for true humility, a servant’s heart and the courage to allow God to change you and step where God leads you. It works for me, and it can work for you, as long as you’re not too proud to ask Him or too afraid you’ll lose your angry-zebra-guy action.

* No, they weren’t.