So how do I get my parents to like him? Or do I just marry him behind their backs? It’s getting pretty serious, and he’s leaving the choice up to me. What do I do?

Perplexed

Dear Perplexed:
Because your parents have more life experience, they’re wiser. They must see something in the guy you’re with that’s causing their doubts. I have doubts, and I’m not even your parent. I’m curious why you’ve been engaged twice at such a young age? That suggests impulsiveness to me. And if the first relationship seemed so right, what went suddenly wrong? Could it simply be immaturity?

You’re 17. You’re still under your parents’ authority, and God has placed them in your life to guide you with important decisions. So heed their advice and re-evaluate your thinking. The fact that you’re even considering marrying someone behind your parents’ backs tells me you’re not ready for marriage.

And why is your guy leaving the choice up to you? A mature, Christian guy who understands the seriousness of marriage would be doing everything he could to win the trust of your folks and prove himself a worthy future husband. I encourage you to talk openly with your parents about the sacredness of marriage. Let them help you with specific goals: What to look for in your future mate, how you can be a wife that nurtures her husband, how a husband and wife can grow together spiritually, etc.

Dear Susie:
My overweight friend eats all the time! She eats healthy, but I’ve tried explaining that’s not enough; exercise is important, too. I want to see her get healthy. How can I help?

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated:
It’s cool that you want to help your friend, but it may be hopeless unless she really wants help. Find an activity you both enjoy (playing tennis, riding bikes or simply walking) and do it together four times a week. It’s easier to get motivated to exercise when friends can do it together.

Dear Susie:
I lost my purity and innocence less than a year ago, and I’m hanging on to my virginity by a thread. I confessed my sin to God, but I failed to totally repent. My boyfriend and I would “have fun” for a few weeks (without crossing the intercourse line), and I’d feel really guilty about it, so we’d stop for a while but then fall back into it again.

It’s mostly my fault; he’ll never go farther than what I’m willing. After almost a whole year of this, how could God forgive me? If I were Him, I wouldn’t believe me. I’d think, Yeah, I’ve heard that line before.

Is there hope for me? Is it even possible to stop once I know what it’s like?

Hopeless

Dear Hopeless:
With God, there’s always hope. But this won’t be easy. You’ll need help. Are you willing to make yourself accountable to an older female who’s a really strong Christian? Will you allow her to ask you the tough questions? Will you break up with your boyfriend? Unless he’s repentant and will agree to accountability with an older, spiritually mature male, you need to run from him as far as possible (1 Corinthians 6:18).

If you can answer yes to these questions, you’re proving you’re serious about changing. If you can’t answer yes, it proves you have regret, but you’re not serious enough to change and do things God’s way.

It may help to know that you’re not the only girl in the world to face this. Lots of teen girls have been sexually active, repented, received forgiveness from Christ and have started over. You can, too—with His help.

Start with repenting of your sin. Humbly tell God you’re genuinely sorry and will immediately set boundaries. Then find an accountability partner—fast. Next, use common sense: Stop being alone with guys.

Memorize this verse: “But remember this—the wrong desires that come into your life aren’t anything new and different. Many others have faced exactly the same problems before you. And no temptation is irresistible. You can trust God to keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it, for he has promised this and will do what he says. He will show you how to escape temptation’s power so that you can bear up patiently against it” (1 Corinthians 10:13 The Living Bible).