“Bye, Dad,” she called out, the screen door slamming on her words. She stared down at the Cheerios floating in her cereal bowl but no longer felt hungry. She dropped her spoon in the milk, and a few drops splashed onto the B+ English essay she’d hoped to show her dad before he bolted. Why couldn’t he make more time for her?

“You have got to be more responsible, young lady! I’ve told you a million times not to leave every light in the house on . . . ”

Nikki pressed her lips and looked, not at her dad, but through him. His shouted words made her cringe with every blast. She knew he was mad, but why couldn’t he talk instead of yelling?

“Your homework done?” Amber’s dad peered over his newspaper, looking skeptical.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

What a stupid question. “Uh, wouldn’t I know if I did it or not?”

He shut the paper and frowned. “I’m just asking a question, Amber. Don’t get snotty!”

When would he begin to trust her to take care of her schoolwork without nagging all the time?

Dads. In our minds, most of us have a picture of the perfect father. Tall, handsome, funny, smart. A cross between Bill Cosby and Superman. This fantasy dad makes us feel like a princess. He takes us on vacations, teaches us to do new, fun things, and is always gentle and understanding. He has a good job and makes his family proud.

Maybe your dad is all that, or maybe he’s not. Dads come in all kinds, but no matter what your father is like, I can guarantee he’s not perfect. Why? Because he’s human, and humans aren’t perfect.

The truth is it can be hard to get along with your dad. Maybe yours is really busy with work or hobbies, and you feel like he doesn’t spend enough time at home. Maybe he has a bad temper. Maybe you feel he doesn’t trust you. Or perhaps nothing you do seems good enough to please him. Any of these things can cause pain and make it difficult to get along.

Whatever your relationship difficulty, here are some ideas to help you get along better with your dad:

Pray. The Bible says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). You can cry to God, tell Him how frustrated, angry or scared you are, and He’ll listen. Pray for a better relationship with your dad. Ask God to help you be the best daughter you can be and to help your dad. God is the only perfect Father, and He loves you.

Accept him. Wishing your dad was different—more patient, funnier, more like someone else’s dad—won’t help your relationship. The first step to getting along with someone is accepting him for who he is. We’re all different, and all have flaws. God wants us to love each other unconditionally, just the way He loves us.

Talk to him. Complaining to your friends about your dad or scribbling angry words in your journal might make you feel better for the moment, but it won’t improve your relationship. Sharing your feelings with your dad can be scary, but it can make a big difference.

Use these tips before discussing things with him: Think about what you specifically want to discuss. Think about how you can tell him what’s on your mind without being hurtful. Be honest; are there things you need to apologize for? You’ll want to assure your dad that you love him and want to have a good relationship with him.

Pray before you talk to your dad. Ask God to help you to express your feelings well and to help your dad understand. Be wise about when you decide to talk. Pick a time when your dad isn’t too busy or tired. (In the middle of his favorite TV show or when he’s trying to leave for work are probably not the best times.) Talking in person is probably the best, but you might also consider writing a letter or e-mail if you’re too afraid.

Show an interest in him. When is the last time you asked your dad about his life? If the only time you talk to him is to ask for money or permission to do something, it might seem to him like you don’t care much about him. Ask about his work or hobbies. Find out what his opinions are about different things. Discuss the news, movies, whatever. Ask what it was like for him when he was a teen. Just be sure your conversations aren’t all about you.

Go to the Bible. Ephesians 6:1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” One of the Ten Commandments is, “Honor your father and your mother.” God doesn’t give us any exceptions. He doesn’t say, “Honor your father if you think he’s doing a good job,” or, “Obey your father as long as he’s being fair.” God wants you to show your dad respect simply because he’s your dad. Teens you know, and teens in the movies and on TV, can be horribly disrespectful, but God calls you to be different. It won’t always be easy, but if you try to be respectful and obedient, you’ll please God. Chances are you’ll please your dad, too.

Take a walk in his shoes. OK, his shoes are probably way too big for you, but think about what your dad has to deal with in his life: working, dealing with a boss and co-workers, being responsible for providing for a family. What else is going on in his life? Does he help an elderly parent? Hold a position at church? Does he take care of things around the house and yard? Remembering that your dad has stress in his life just as you do in yours will help you understand him better.

Be thankful. Here’s one thing you can’t argue: You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for your dad! Chances are he’s done more for you than just help bring you into existence. If he gives you lunch money or works at a job so you can have clothes and food, don’t take it for granted. Thank him sometime. He’ll appreciate it.

Talk to someone. If you’re having a really hard time, be sure and talk to someone—your mom, a counselor, a youth leader or pastor. Many times someone outside your situation can see things more clearly than you can and can offer great advice.