I start looking around at other girls, thinking, I wish I had her shape, or I wish my hair would look that good, or I wish I was as tall as she is. The list goes on. . . . I won’t bore you with my piece-by-piece break down of myself. Simply, I have been caught in the COMPARE SNARE!

What girl hasn’t?! The second we get around other girls we start the comparing game. A game we never win. Her hips are smaller than mine. Her eyes are bigger, and her clothes are nicer.

So what happened? Why was I OK with myself at home (alone) and not so OK as soon as I came into contact with other girls?

What the Bible Says
The Bible actually talks about this very sin. Sin? Are you surprised that comparing yourself to others is a sin? Hebrews 13:5 (New King James Version) says, “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have.” Covetousness, which leads to envy (to want what others have), is the opposite of contentment. The apostle Paul wrote about being content in Philippians 4:11 when he said to be content no matter what state we are in. I’m guessing, like me, most girls not only compare outside appearances but also money (cars/vacations/clothes) and accomplishments (grades/team captain/lead in the play).

I’ve always had friends who have more money, therefore better clothes and houses and the latest technology as it comes out. (I’m more the type to finally get a digital camera/iPod/laptop after they’ve been out a few years and no longer cost a year of college tuition.) I spent many a spring break at home, while my friends flew around the world, and the first car I drove was my mom’s old Oldsmobile, while my friend drove a cool new car—with a sun roof!

I wish I could tell you I was able to escape the Compare Snare as I got older, but I’m afraid it still gets me. I’ve talked to several women from teenaged to middle-aged, and they all confessed to feeling bad about themselves when comparing their lives and looks with other women. To top it all off, we don’t just compare ourselves to people we know and see but also to movie stars and models who spend more time and money on the way they look than we spend in a year on everything!

If we think about it, comparing gets us nowhere but in the dumps. I think the Bible cautions us against comparing, because it serves only to hurt our walk with the Lord. It’s hard to think and pray about how the Lord wants us to live and serve Him when we are consumed with the size of our waistline and our income. I often think about how Satan loves to see us caught in the Compare Snare, because we’re so wrapped up in ourselves that the Lord can’t use us for His purpose. Besides, what’s my measuring rod: myself, others or outward appearances? What about God’s measuring rod: His Word?

Escaping the Compare Snare
I’m not going to lie and say it’s easy to get out of the snare. Once you’re caught, it takes a lot of hard work to pry your way free. It starts with PRAYER. Tell God that you want to get out of the Compare Snare and you need His help. Second, start changing your mindset. Second Corinthians 10:5 says we should take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. This means as soon as you start thinking, I wish I had her skin, you firmly banish that thought from your head. Just stop it, midthought, and tell yourself you’re not going to go down that dead-end road. It’s really hard at first to stop these poisonous thoughts, but I promise it gets easier, especially if you trust the Lord to help you.

Reading the Bible will help replace these thoughts with God’s Word, as in Colossians 3:2: “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Third, enlist your friends to help. If you all make a commitment to stop playing the compare game, you can remind each other when one of you says, “Oh, look at her new bag! Mine is so old,” that you’re all fighting to get out of the Compare Snare.

Too Short or Just Right?
I wish I had tried to escape the Compare Snare when I was younger; it would have saved me a lot of trouble. You see, I’ve always struggled with my height; I’m 5 feet 6-and-a-half inches (that half is very important to me). I went to high school with an unusual percentage of tall girls. My best friend was almost 5 feet 10 inches tall; my mom is 5 feet 9 inches, and my best friend from college is 5 feet 9 inches—so you can see why I felt short. I spent the first quarter of my life wearing high heels at all times! (Needless to say, my feet were in bad shape.)

I’ve since come to realize that I’m actually a bit above average height for an American woman, which is 5 feet 4 inches! (PS. The average Miss America winner is 5 feet 6 inches, just in case you were wondering.) So why did I spend all those years hating my height? What a waste!

Perhaps you have a hang-up like mine. Yes, compared to my friends and family I’m shorter, but if I wasn’t obsessed with comparing myself, I would’ve realized a lot earlier that I’m actually not short and that it’s OK if I’m different from those around me. (Funny, my mom has always told me she wanted to be short like her friends, which just goes to show that we’re never happy when we compare.) I could’ve saved my feet, and maybe I could’ve put the time and energy I used worrying about my height on something more important, such as running for Miss America. (Just kidding!). I could have concentrated on serving God and earning a crown of blessing, which is way better than a tiara!

I’ve learned that contentment has much more to do with who you are on the inside than what you look like on the outside. “The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).