Dear Wondering:
A few of the differences between courting and dating are: (1) Gals who court usually don’t begin a courtship until they’re ready to get married. So there’s no dating around with a variety of guys before getting serious. (2) A courting couple spends more time with each other’s family and with groups of people than by themselves. (3) Permission from the girl’s parents is always sought by the guy wanting to court her.

The advantage to courting is that you don’t go through the numerous breakups that many teens experience. The disadvantage would be that you don’t date at all until you’re seriously considering marriage.

You’re concerned you won’t get to know a guy’s personality before courting. You may not. But you will get to know him during the courtship. And if you don’t feel comfortable with him, or if you feel God is leading you in another direction, you can always call off the courtship.

If a guy asks you out, explain to him that you’re not allowed to date. Ask him to talk with your dad, and ask your dad to consider allowing you to do things with groups of friends. So if a guy named Mark from your youth group wants to treat you to pizza, have him talk with your dad, and make sure it’s a group of you instead of just you and Mark.

Dear Susie:
Last weekend I went to camp with my youth group, and I had a blast. God really touched me, and all my problems seemed to go away. When I got home from camp, I was on a spiritual high, but it faded fast. I’ve been reading my Bible, but nothing has been helping me. How do I get that spiritual high back again?
Spiritually Dead
From our e-mail bag

Dear S.D.:
I don’t think you’re “spiritually dead.” You’re simply no longer on a spiritual high. That’s OK. No one can live on a spiritual high forever. My youth pastor used to say something I’ve never forgotten: “The King of my mountains must also be the Lord of my valleys.”

Your relationship with Christ comes down to commitment. It’s not about feelings, though when you’re in a camp setting surrounded by friends and a campfire, you probably will experience wonderful emotions. But when the music fades, the crowd has gone home and the fire has dwindled, you won’t feel those ooey-gooey spiritual high feelings. That’s OK. Even when you’re in the “valley,” Jesus can still be Lord.

Some things you can do to ensure that you stay on a steady spiritual track: Get involved in church, Bible study and youth group. Consistently read your Bible. (You say you are reading, and nothing’s happening. You may not be feeling anything, but you’re still allowing God’s Word to soak into your mind and heart. And He is working even when you can’t feel Him.) Develop accountability with someone a little older.

These things won’t guarantee spiritual high feelings, but they will help you maintain a consistent relationship with Christ.

Dear Susie:
I’m a teen with a baby on the way. When my boyfriend found out I was pregnant, he left me. I feel so guilty, and I want God to forgive me. I know what I did was wrong. It was stupid! But what do I do now? I don’t want to get an abortion, and I’m afraid that I’ll be too attached to my baby to give him up for adoption. I want God to forgive me. Help!
Mom at 15
From our e-mail bag

Dear Mom at 15:
Oh, how I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you a big ol’ bear hug. But because I’m not able to do that, I’m trusting that God is doing it. And His hugs are way better than mine!

I’m proud of you for deciding against abortion. Wise decision. Please know that you serve a forgiving God. He’s willing to forgive, if you’ll simply ask Him. That’s what grace is all about. So if you haven’t already sought His forgiveness, please do it now (Romans 10:9 and 1 John 1:9).

Yes, you sinned by being sexually intimate outside of marriage, but it’s a sin that can be forgiven! You know what you did was wrong; now let God begin to heal your heart and your emotions. Yes, it will be hard to give your baby up for adoption after carrying it for nine months, but think of it this way: You’re helping another couple who desperately wants a child! You may be God’s answer to prayer for someone else.

God can make beautiful things happen out of hurtful situations. He wants to do that with you. Please let Him. I encourage you to visit your local pregnancy resource center. These are Christian-based organizations around the nation committed to helping unwed pregnant mothers. To find the one closest to you, go to www.optionline.org. Then click on “find a center” and enter your ZIP code.