Dear Confused:
I love your friendly spirit. I’m guessing you probably have LOTS of friends—guys and girls. I sense that you’re a real people-person. That’s terrific!

I also sense, from your point of view, that you’re simply being friendly. But here’s the deal: Guys are wired differently than we are. And not just some guys; all guys! Every single guy in the entire world has been created by God to become sexually enticed by sight and touch. It doesn’t matter if he’s a Christian or not; that’s simply how God made him.

Most of the time, we girls just don’t get that. If we did, we’d hug a lot less, and we’d dress more modestly.

Please don’t interpret this to the extreme. I can almost “hear” a few of our readers: “That’s crazy! I hugged my guy friend goodbye when we left camp last summer, and you’re telling me he was turned on by it?!”

Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he was. Who knows? But why not play it safe? We want to encourage our Christian guy friends, not tempt them. Keep discussing this with your mom. If you decide to hug a guy once in a while, please consider side-hugs only.

Dear Susie:
My boyfriend of more than a year recently broke up with me. He’s an amazing Christian and says that God needed him to end our relationship.

I don’t understand why God would want us to break up, and He never sent any signs to me. I had no idea this was coming. I just don’t understand why God would do this to us. I feel so alone right now.

Perplexed

Dear Perplexed:
One of two things is happening: Either your boyfriend wanted out of the relationship and is using God as a reason because he’s not courageous enough to share what’s really bothering him. OR God has actually spoken to him and told him to end the relationship.

If your boyfriend is an honest guy and in tune with the Lord, I totally admire him for his obedience to Christ. Isn’t that ultimately the kind of man with whom you want to spend the rest of your life—one who listens to God, obeys Him and loves Him more than he does you?

I know your hurt and confusion are exploding right now, but use this time to seek your own direction from God. God’s timing is not our own; He may have plans for the two of you for the future but just not the present.

Dear Susie:
Everywhere I turn, whether at my church or my Christian school, everyone’s saying, “You need to read the Bible to strengthen your faith.” Well, I want to read the Bible; I have my Bible ready to read; I just don’t know what to read! Should I simply open my Bible and start reading or begin at Genesis and go to Revelation?

Spiritually Hungry

Dear Spiritually Hungry:
There’s really no right or wrong way to read the Bible, but here’s what I suggest: Start with the Gospel of John. Then read Proverbs (one chapter a day will fill a month). After that, go for Matthew, and then read Genesis, then head to Mark. Go back to the Old Testament and read Exodus, then Luke, then Leviticus. Next, head to Acts and then back to the Old Testament to Numbers and Deuteronomy. After that go to Romans. Keep reading a book or two in the New Testament and then the Old Testament and then back to the New Testament.

Or consider reading through the Bible in a year with us! You’ll find our reading plan on Pages 36-37 each month.

Dear Susie:
My mom smokes. No matter how many times I tell her to try to stop, she just keeps smoking. My best friend won’t spend the night at my house anymore because of the smoke. What can I do to get my mom to stop?

Smokesick

Dear Smokesick:
My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how frustrated you must be. But I’m guessing your mom is even more frustrated. She knows she’s addicted and feels that quitting is hopeless. The honest truth is, you can’t get your mom to stop smoking. But you can pray for her. And you can keep talking to her about it.

Consider making a date night—just the two of you. Let your mom know how much you love her and that you’re seriously concerned about her health. (You didn’t mention this in your letter, but I’m assuming you are concerned.) Suggest the two of you break a habit together (maybe you give up coffee or Coke, etc.). Ask if the two of you can start exercising together (to get her mind off of smoking and to replace an unhealthy habit with a healthy one).

And most important, ask if the two of you can begin praying together. With God ALL things are possible. Memorize Scripture that talks about faith, and quote those verses to each other. (You might want to begin with Hebrews 11:1.) When she’s discouraged, pray right then.