These are some of the words music critics have used to describe the voice of Grammy-nominated Sarah Kelly. And, surprisingly, these words also describe Sarah. The Brio staff got the chance to meet her when she visited Colorado in March.

Here’s what we learned: Sarah is a hugger, she loves girly shoes, she has a blind pet rabbit, and she graduated from high school when she was 16. But there’s more to Sarah than this trivia. She has a history of abusive relationships, which has shaped her into who she is now. Keep reading to learn how her past met today.

Mean Girls
Sarah grew up in a traditional, Christian family. Her dad was in charge of their church’s children’s ministry. She attended a Christian school and youth group. In fact, Sarah says she was a little over-involved in church.

“I went to school, went to sports and then went to my nightly events. I didn’t see my parents very much.”

As a freshman, Sarah joined a new Christian high school. The girls in her class had been together since kindergarten and were upset that all the guys liked the “new girl.” They drew pictures of Sarah with rats in her hair and called her names that shouldn’t be repeated.

Sarah was the youngest in her class. She thought, If I dated an older guy, maybe they’d start treating me nicer and stop making fun of me. So as a young teen, Sarah started going out with a junior in her high school.

“Those girls were so mean,” she says. “That’s what drove me to date a guy who cut himself, which made it cool for me to cut myself. It felt so good to feel something—to feel anything. Sometimes I felt that I needed help to feel.”

Sarah’s abusive relationship with this guy—who happened to be a leader in her youth group—started with his shaking her when he got frustrated. “I remember my back hitting the locker over and over. It would just kill because of those little [metal bars] that hang out. That’s where I’d get the bruises,” Sarah says.

“Looking back, it was really stupid, but at that time I just wanted to be accepted by the girls. It had nothing to do with the guys. He was a cool, basketball dude, and all the girls wanted to date his friends. So all of a sudden they liked me a lot. It helped make my life a little easier to bear.”

Eventually the shaking turned into hitting. But what kept Sarah going was the makeup period. “It was almost worth it because [my boyfriend] became so nice to me for about two months after that. I thought, If I have to go through that to get this kind of treatment—getting flowers all the time, getting candy—I get to feel special and beautiful. I became more addicted to the pattern of [abuse and making up].”

Keeping Secrets
Sarah’s parents didn’t know she was dating, much less being physically abused. “My mom was a good mom, but if she found out any of this was going on back then, she would have put her foot down. So I didn’t tell her.”

In fact, Sarah says she didn’t even know she needed help. “I figured all the women just dealt with it. I thought [the abuse] was normal maybe because some of my friends were being abused or maybe I thought it was a dating thing, and it goes away later.”

Between the cutting and abuse, Sarah hated herself. She says she went to her dad a couple of times, and he would hug her back into life. But she didn’t turn to him often enough.

“If I had spent more time with my parents, I think I would’ve come through it a little healthier. Because when you’re around someone who loves you so wildly, it’s hard to hate yourself.”

Sarah took a break from dating after that first relationship because by then she had gained the approval of her peers. But now she had an attraction to guys who displayed passionate outbursts. Unfortunately these guys had problems with anger issues as well, she says.

Sarah’s second boyfriend was that way. She was a senior in high school by now, and he was in his early 20s. He was too old for Sarah, but she wasn’t concerned because he was studying to be a pastor. He didn’t hit Sarah as the other boyfriend had, but when he asked Sarah to marry him and she said no, he raped her.

Sarah never talked to the guy again and never mentioned the rape to anyone. “I didn’t even think about going to the police because then the whole youth group would know, and I’d be like the spotted sheep,” she says. “I didn’t really take the time to think about [the rape]. I just ran from it.”

Three years later when Sarah was eating nachos with her sister, the truth came out. “I said [I had been raped] as if it was no big deal. Then she started bawling, and I started bawling.”

Truthful Worship
During the time she shared the news with her sister, Sarah had started leading worship at her church and learning to deal with her past. “A lot of the way I dealt with it was through music,” she says. “God met me in my songs. I learned how to be honest for the first time instead of trying to live an illusion. My songwriting, my singing and my vulnerability on a stage ironically provided the only place I could be honest about any of this.”

Sarah says her honesty came not necessarily through her words but through her voice tone. “I was raped three years ago and still dealing with it. Through my voice tone, my worship and saying, ‘God, I trust You anyway,’ my voice sounded so desperate,” she says. “I don’t know how to sing like I don’t mean it, and I hope I never learn.”

Back to Health
Two years ago, Sarah finally went to her mom for help because she was in a third abusive relationship. Her radio hit “Take Me Away” had already been written, and her name was rising on the CCM charts. Because the relationship was with another pastor, Sarah feared letting down her church by exposing him. But even still, she knew she was in an unhealthy pattern and needed help.

“At that point, my parents put their foot down and helped me get out of that situation. They teased me that they’d hire a kidnapper to kidnap me into Mexico if I did nothing.”

Sarah then got some counseling because she says if a person makes a mistake more than once, she has to figure out what’s wrong with her. “Obviously there’s something wrong in my thinking, and I needed to take responsibility for that and get to a healthier place so this never happens again,” she says.

Many of the songs on Sarah’s second album relate to her healing and being honest for the first time. The story of Paul and Silas (Acts 16:25-40) singing hymns while in prison was the inspiration for the song “At Midnight.”

“[Like Paul and Silas], I worshiped God in the center of these situations,” she says. “When I didn’t understand how to get out, didn’t see that I was worth more than that, I trusted God to help me find my way out, and He did. I started to be open to the idea that this isn’t what God had for me.”

Sarah says the title of her new album, Where the Past Meets Today, describes where honesty is. When the album is released this month, her prayer is that the music will give a voice to those who have none, as it did for her.

“A lot of times people don’t know how to communicate what they’ve been through,” she says. “For whatever reason, the only way I communicate effectively is through music. I can’t tell you how my day has been, but I can play you a tune, and you’ll know how my day is going. Music helps people feel.”

Breaking Free
The song “Out of Reach” is Sarah’s favorite from the album. The chorus tells her journey: I’m out of reach/ Out of the reach of yesterday/ Fade away/ And I have changed/ I have changed/ So on with today.

“When you hear this album, you’ll know what I’ve been through. You won’t even need to ask. It’s the story of someone who has dealt with an addiction or abuse. My addiction was abuse,” she says. “This album was the way I found myself out of that situation. This album was God’s grace in my life. You can’t be free from something before you’re honest about it. This album was me becoming honest for the first time.”

Thankfully I’m breaking free/ From all the chains that are holding me/ I never knew how good life could be/ So this is peace.

Survival Manual
One out of four women have been abused. To avoid getting in this situation, apply these tips from Sarah Kelly.

1. If you’re under 18, avoid dating men considerably older than you. Ask yourself and your parents or a professional counselor why he wants to date you, because it’s probably not only because of your wonderful personality.

2. Rise above ridicule from other girls. Think more of yourself than they do. Take your insecurity by the horns and don’t waste any more of your life.

3. Just because a man is at church doesn’t make him worthy of you. Take the time in social settings with other people to get to know his character before considering dating.

4. Make a rule that the first time your boyfriend throws something across the room and you’re in the room, the relationship is over. If he doesn’t get his rage under control now, it will come into your long-term relationship.

5. Beware of dating guys who are involved with any sort of addictions such as pornography or substance abuse.

6. Keep your parents informed or ask someone you trust to go with you to talk to your parents. In addition, balanced counseling or therapy will help you gain a healthy perspective on your self-worth and how you can handle abusive or addictive tendencies.

7. Ask God for guidance and wisdom. As long as you’re still breathing, God has a plan for you. Stay plugged into His Word.

Too Busy for Family Time?
One thing Sarah and her parents have said they could have done differently when she lived at home was to set aside one family night a week.

“We get busy with sports, youth groups, cell groups—there’s church four nights a week,” Sarah says. “Your parents’ influence on you in high school is less and less because you don’t see them. One family night or afternoon a week would have countered a lot of this.

“I’m not a good secret-keeper. I would have told my parents [what was going on]. But I wouldn’t have ever asked for that [family time] because I wanted to hang out with my friends. It would have taken my parents making me. But if you’re around people who wildly love you, you can’t hate yourself for very long.”

If you’d like better communication with your parents, check out “Unlock the Talk” by Jeanne Zornes. This article will give you some practical ideas.