Jesus said, “I demand that you love each other as much as I love you. And here is how to measure it—the greatest love is shown when a person lays down his life for his friends” (John 15:12-13 The Living Bible).

So you’re thinking, Good grief, I have to die to show my friends that I love them? Hope that never has to happen.

Indeed, Jesus said that a true friend would lay his life down willingly for another, death being the ultimate sacrifice. But He also meant we need to be prepared to lay down our pride, popularity and self-will for the sake of others. Think about it. How much of your will is put before a friend or a stranger in need? If you’re not sure, perhaps you should consider measuring it. After all, God is.

Picture It
The following scenarios are typical of all of our lives at one time or another. Read each one and then imagine yourself during that moment. What would you do? How would you react? Are you a “friend in deed for a friend in need,” or are you running on fumes in the ol’ love-and-compassion compartment? When you’re finished there’ll be no numbers to add or divide, no scores to tally. Rather, your internal love monitor will ring the bells of triumph if you’re a devoted friend, or the alarms of self-centeredness will clang if you’re not. You know that feeling—that little voice in your head, that hunch in your soul God gave you to measure yourself according to what He expects of you. And He wouldn’t expect anything from you that He already hasn’t done himself. Let’s begin!

1. You’re at your locker during passing period with a few of your good friends, when your friend Genie begins dogging the new girl. She says her pants look as though she’s getting ready for the Great Flood, and her hair looks like it lost a fight to Clorox. All of your other friends begin to laugh and tease her as well. What would you do?
a. Stay quiet and hope nobody asks your opinion.
b. Try to change the subject.
c. Laugh and try to think of something funny yourself.
d. Suggest to your friends that nobody is perfect and that we all look silly at times.

2. You’re getting ready for a fun-filled night out when there is a knock at the door. Upon answering it, you discover a friend who’s extremely upset over family issues and needs your shoulder to cry on.
a. You tell her she can come in but that you are leaving in 10 minutes, so she’ll have to hurry.
b. You listen but keep looking at your watch in hopes she’ll get the hint to wrap it up.
c. Give her all the time she needs and take a rain check on the night.
d. Tell her your aunt just flew in from Europe, and you have to go get her from the airport.

3. You’re shopping with a friend who is a few dollars short of being able to buy her sick grandmother a card and some flowers. You, however, have enough money to complete the sale for her—except you were saving it for your trip to Florida. What would you do?
a. Persuade her to buy only the card.
b. Tell her you would like to donate the balance of the cost, because it’s for a good cause.
c. Just keep quiet and hope she doesn’t ask you for any money.
d. Give her the money but hastily tell her she has to pay you back.

4. A good friend confides in you about something personal and asks that you don’t tell anyone. But this is the type of gossip that others love to sink their teeth into. What would you do?
a. Pretend that you didn’t hear her ask you not to tell.
b. Take her request seriously but encourage her to talk to someone, such as a parent or pastor.
c. Play charades with your other friends until they correctly guess the secret.
d. Tell, because it’s in her best interest that others discuss and try to solve her problem.

5. You’re at a party when someone tells a prejudiced joke. What would you do?
a. Laugh uncontrollably and tell the joke-teller, “Great joke!”
b. Walk away.
c. Tell another joke with equal distaste.
d. Suggest to the group that being prejudiced is the first symptom of Ignorantitis, a disease that causes one’s mind to stop growing.

6. You’re preparing a nice dinner at home for several of your good friends when the elderly woman next door stops by. You know she’s lonely and doesn’t have many opportunities to attend special events. Your heart tells you to invite her, but your head says your friends wouldn’t want her there because she’s a bit senile and smells like mothballs. What would you do?
a. Ask her to dinner then explain to your friends when they arrive that she is a friend, and it would do her some good to be around others.
b. Tell her she can come, but she has to take a bath first, and it would be a good idea to not say much so she doesn’t embarrass you.
c. Tell her this is just for your friends and you can make dinner for her another night.
d. Tell her you’re just pretending to make dinner and hope that she turns around and goes home.

7. While riding the bus home one afternoon you notice several kids bullying a young boy. The boy is visibly upset as he sits quietly and tears begin to fall. What would you do?
a. Ignore it. Every kid has to go through it at some time or another.
b. Tell the bullies that you know the little boy’s BIG brother, and he doesn’t stand for anyone picking on his brother.
c. Walk the boy to the front of the bus, away from the bullies and explain to the bus driver what is happening.
d. join the bullies by throwing paper at the boy.

8. One of your friends just told you that the science teacher and the English teacher are having an affair because she saw them outside talking . . . alone. What would you do?
a. Quickly tell as many people as you can, because that is awesome gossip.
b. Tell the principal so the teachers can be investigated and fired.
c. Investigate the two teachers; then if you find there is truth to the allegation, spread it around.
d. Stop gossip where it starts. Tell your friend she doesn’t know for sure that they’re having an affair, and she could ruin two people’s careers if others were to take her seriously.

9. A close friend just informed you that a particular girl who’s been glaring at you for two weeks is now talking bad about you and spreading rumors. What would you do?
a. Write a mean note to her. After all, this is your reputation she’s out to ruin.
b. Keep the hurt and angry feelings to yourself.
c. Talk to everyone you know about it, then keep rehashing it on a daily basis so that the issue stays fresh in your mind and others’.
d. Offer her the other cheek by respectfully confronting her. Ask first if she even said those things; then find out why.

10. You’re at the party of the year, hanging out with a group of the most elite seniors, when the topic of Jesus comes up. One of the more popular football players, whom you happen to have a secret crush on, says matter-of-factly, “That Jesus stuff is for geeks.” Consequently, the rest of the group begins mocking Jesus and others’ belief in Him. What would you do?
a. Stay quiet and hope they don’t remember you’re a member of the school Bible team.
b. Throw in a few of your own crass remarks, then ask for forgiveness later.
c. Walk away and tell yourself that others are entitled to their own beliefs.
d. Lay your life down for your Lord and tell the group if believing in Jesus makes you a geek, then you would like to be the president of the club. Then leave the party and get over your crush.

Congratulations!
The bells are tolling, and you’re confident that you’ve answered each question according to God’s will, right? If there was ever a good friend, it’s you, huh? Jesus is proud to have you on His team because you, my friend, aren’t afraid to lay down your life for others. You overflow with love.

Or perhaps you’ve discovered, like so many of us, that under the pressure of self-will, self-comfort and self-preservation, the depth of your love is running on empty. Unfilled because we’ve been told to put ourselves first and ignore that disturbing inner voice that tells us, “Do the right thing, even when it hurts.”

Jesus said, “There are those who are last who will be first, and first who will be last.” (Luke 13:30). He never said wanting to put others first would be easy or come naturally, but rather, it’s a sacrifice we make, despite the consequences, when we truly love Him and others. And you can rest assured your pain today is your gift tomorrow.

Begin filling up with real love today by deciding that when confronted with the choice to save yourself or lay your life down, you’ll indeed sacrifice your life. After all, even if you’re not keeping track of the depth of your love, God has the gauge to your soul, and He is.