I had purposely waited until Ms. Weber was working because she, unlike Mrs. Miller, didn’t flip through your books and try to chat with you about your selections while she was checking them out. Ms. Weber always stamped the books and handed them back without a comment. I held my breath as she opened each cover and stamped the due date in red, and then true to form, she handed them back to me with a quick reminder that the books were due in two weeks.

Seconds later, I was safely out the door, home free! I now held in my possession the key to all my future happiness. The fulfillment of all my hopes and dreams. The very secret of life itself. My hands trembling, I pulled a book from the middle of the stack and stared at the title, written in flowing gold script across the pale blue cover, How to Be Popular.

This book held the promise of a new beginning. I was certain of it. No longer would I be the shy, awkward, brainy girl who worked on the school newspaper. That girl was history. Armed with the information in this book, I was about to transform myself into one of the “in” crowd!

My Dream
I’d always fantasized about what it must be like to be popular. To be one of those girls all the boys were in love with and every girl wanted as her best friend. A girl who always knew what to say, what to wear and when to laugh. I wanted to be the exact opposite of me.

This book would change that. I could hardly wait to get home, lock myself in my room and begin to read. For the next few days, I read every chapter over and over, taking notes and memorizing key points. The book suggested that, when talking with people, I use their names, smile and ask questions. It seemed easy enough. Too easy, actually. The more I read, the more doubtful I felt. Would I really be elected head cheerleader and homecoming queen simply by using people’s names and smiling? Probably not.

I began to get a sneaking suspicion that the author was actually one of those people who’d been born popular. Sure, maybe she really thought that it was her skill at asking interesting questions that drove guys nuts, but I knew better.

The author was probably like the girls in those commercials for shampoo and zit cream. They want you to think that their bouncy, shiny hair and flawless skin are the result of the product they’re holding up for the camera, but everyone knows they were already beautiful and perfect before they auditioned.

But just like I purchased the shampoo and zit cream on the remote chance that it’d make me look like the models, I decided to give the advice in the book a try. What did I have to lose?

There was only one glitch in my new popularity plan. According to the author, the most important ingredient in popularity was to be yourself. She might as well have said, “Be the Queen of England.” In fact, it would’ve been easier to be the Queen of England. At least I’d have someone to imitate. How could I be myself when I didn’t have a clue who I was?

Trying It Out
With the book practically memorized, I headed to school each day ready to do whatever it took to become popular. Whenever I talked to people (which actually wasn’t all that often because I was so shy), I tried to use their names several times. But as far as I could tell, no one noticed.

Although the smiling assignment received better results (hey, some people even smiled back!), no one rushed to nominate me for student body president.

I even made a few feeble attempts to imitate girls who appeared to be themselves. Maybe I could learn to be myself by being exactly like those girls. It made sense in an odd, illogical way. But whenever I copied a popular girl’s head toss or laugh, it came across forced and stupid. So much for that.

Gradually, in the following weeks and months, I realized that unless I moved to Planet Geek, the whole cheerleader-homecoming queen fantasy wasn’t going to happen. However, something else had happened.

During my popularity quest, I’d also attended youth group meetings at church. One weekend, a few teenagers spoke about how Christ changed their lives. I could see they were different. It showed in their eyes and in their faces. They had peace. They had contentment. They seemed to have everything I wanted. I wanted what they had even more than I wanted popularity. I wanted it more than I’d ever wanted anything. That weekend I gave my life to Christ.

A New Beginning
Although, I’ll admit, I still secretly wondered what it would be like to be voted “Miss Baker High,” it was no longer something that seemed so important. I finally understood that liking myself was more important than having other people like me. And the fact that God loved me was most important!

One thing still bothered me: Even though I was now a Christian, I still didn’t have any idea who I was! I’d hoped that praying that simple salvation prayer would suddenly shed light on being myself, but I was still clueless.

While reading my Bible, I came across an interesting phrase, “Be imitators of God” (Ephesians 5:1). That’s when it hit me. Nowhere in the Bible does God tell us to find out who we are or to be ourselves. Instead, He wants us to be like Christ!

Instead of trying to figure out who I was, I could focus on imitating Jesus. I had a guidebook right in front of me: the Bible. I could read about Jesus’ actions and treatment toward people and apply those principles to my own life.

There weren’t examples in the Bible where someone offered Jesus drugs or asked to cheat off His chemistry test, but as I began to understand the character of Christ, I knew how He would’ve responded.

I also found a list of character traits that Christians should have. The Bible calls them the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). I wrote the list on the back of my planner, so I saw it constantly during the day. When confronted with a difficult choice or a temptation, I flipped over my planner, read my list and chose a response based on those qualities. I didn’t always remember to read my list, but it became a habit the more I practiced.

Of course, knowing the right thing to do and following through are two different things. As I began to at least know what I was supposed to do, it was much easier to try doing it.

As I started to act more like Christ, people started to like me more. The less I focused on myself, the more people wanted to be around me. And the more I stood up for what I believed, the more people respected me.

Ironically, it was only when I gave up my quest for popularity to follow Christ that I truly gained friends. Real friends. They liked me for who I was, not because I was good at acting popular.

Even though I never wore the homecoming queen crown, I know that an eternal crown awaits me in heaven as a daughter of the King!

It doesn’t get any better than that!