Dear Susie,
My family adopted a little girl from Guatemala, and she’s been the center of attention ever since. I’ve been doing all I can to help out—laundry, dishes, dusting—but it’s like my parents don’t even care! Nothing I do can even compare to the new sibling. Now my mom thinks that I’m a bad influence for the little one, and she’s debating sending me away to live with relatives! It’s as though they don’t care about me. Don’t they love me anymore?
Forgotten
Dear Forgotten:
OUCH! My heart hurts for you! I’m proud of you for doing so much around the house, though. That shows real maturity. I’m concerned about why your mom thinks you’re a bad influence. Perhaps there’s something you haven’t told me?
Sounds as though you need to sit down with both your parents and tell them how much you love being part of the family. Explain that you don’t like feeling as you do, but the reality is that you’re feeling left out and a bit unloved and uncared for. Let them know that you understand schedules have changed and things are a bit more hectic now, but ask if you can have a “date night” with each parent alone once a month. Tell your mom and dad that you love them and simply want/need some quality time with each one individually.
Dear Susie:
How do I politely tell the family I baby-sit for that I’m tired of them coming home two to three hours late? I feel as though I’m being taken advantage of.
Reluctant Babysitter
Dear Reluctant:
You are being taken advantage of! Have you talked with them about this? If not, you need to do so before you agree to sit for them again. Another option would be to significantly increase your rates. This may weed them out naturally. If it doesn’t, at least you’ll be financially compensated for your long hours.
Dear Susie:
What do you think about tithing? You know, giving 10 percent of the money you earn to your church. I don’t like the church I’m attending, but I have to go because this is where my parents attend. I don’t really want to give 10 percent of the money I earn to a church I don’t like. I’d rather give my money to a Christian radio show, instead. I really like what they do, and I’d love to support them. The problem? My parents don’t agree. I know I can’t disobey them, so what should I do?
Confused
Dear Confused:
First, I’m really really really proud of you for understanding that tithing isn’t an option for Christians! God commands that we give at least 10 percent of what we earn to Him. (Specifically, the Bible states that we give it to the “storehouse,” which is the church.) Failure to do so is robbing God of what’s His. When you think about it, God really owns everything we have, so for Him to ask that we give back only 10 percent isn’t unreasonable at all.
I’m sorry you’re not enjoying the church you’re attending. Ask yourself if there’s anything you can do to change your experience there. Are you involved in youth group? If not, consider joining. Are you growing from the sermons? If not, sit closer to the front and take notes. Do you have friends there? If not, try to get to know someone, or invite some of your friends to come to church with you.
The best tithing option is to give to the church you attend. I look at it like this: Imagine eating at McDonalds but walking out and paying your bill at Burger King. That wouldn’t be fair. You need to give your money to the place that feeds you. Same with church. If this is where your family has decided to attend, this is the place you need to give your tithe.
But consider asking your parents for a compromise. Perhaps with your allowance, your tithe goes to this church. But with anything extra you bring in—baby-sitting money, etc.—you tithe to the radio station.
