Wondering

Dear Wondering:
This is an exciting time with so many firsts on the horizon: driving, high school, college and more. But it’s essential to guard your heart as you embrace new things (Proverbs 4:23). That’s especially true with romantic relationships.

It’s often said that to be successful at something, you need to begin with the end in mind. In your case, begin dating with marriage in mind. Why? Because the purpose of dating is to find a spouse. And with marriage still likely a decade or so away, how you date now will have everything to do with how well you marry later.

If you start out following the world’s way—“getting” as many guys as you can, developing romantic bonds, enduring breakups and heartache—you’ll be practicing the opposite of covenantal, sacrificial love and life-long commitment, the stuff of Christian marriage. Song of Solomon (in the Old Testament) says, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (2:7). That means don’t open yourself up to romantic possibilities until you can follow through. And for Christ-followers, that follow-through can only take place within marriage.

This doesn’t mean you have to spend the next 10 years hiding out in your bedroom. Whew! Thankfully, there’s a lot you can do now toward marrying well later. At this point, a good goal is healthy friendships, not romantic connections.

When it comes to prayer, instead of asking God to send you a boyfriend, ask Him to fill you with His spirit and His love for others. Ask Him to show you, in the Bible and through your parents and mentors, how to be a true friend, both to girls and guys. And start to practice treating the guys you know with respect and kindness. Those two things go a long way to relating biblically to men.

Also, pray daily for God’s perspective on marriage and guys. We live in a culture that disrespects both. God made marriage for our good and His glory. In order to do it well, and that includes all the aspects that lead up to it, we need to have His mind about it.

When you’re old enough to be thinking about getting married, then it’ll be time to start praying not merely that God would send you a boyfriend, but a husband. The wisest king, Solomon, wrote, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). A boyfriend who arrives when the time is right for marriage is indeed an answer to a well-timed and worthy prayer.

Good Stuff for Girlfriends About God, Guys and Growing Up
Let’s Talk
by Danae Dobson
Item code: BD736

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