Should We Break Up?
by Donna Clark Goodrich
He’s a nice boy, but he’s not a Christian," my mother said to
me. 
"But I can witness to him," I argued.
Then she gave me that look. I knew what it meant: What if he
brings you down instead of you bringing him up?
Are you struggling with this problem? You started out as friends,
then gradually your feelings began to change. This guy is everything
you always dreamed of — good looks, personality, athletic ability, a
nice car. But . . . he’s not a Christian.
Or perhaps you were dating this person before you became a
Christian, and now you don’t feel right about continuing the
relationship. What should I do? you wonder.
Let’s Talk It Out
Answering the following questions may help you decide what to
do.
1. Has my spiritual life deepened since dating this
person?
2. Does he go to church with me because of a personal
desire, or only to please me?
3. Have we discussed — not argued — spiritual matters, or
am I afraid that he might be angry or make fun of my beliefs?
4. Am I living up to my convictions, or am I compromising
them to win his approval?
5. Do I take time to meet with God each day, or have I
been too involved in this relationship?
6. Have I prayed for God’s guidance on dating this
person?
7. Have I searched the Bible to see what He has to say
about dating nonbelievers?
8. Does this person take a sincere interest in
spiritual things, or does he go along with them just to make me
happy?
9. Is this the type of guy I want to spend the rest of my life
with?
10. Am I determined to put God first in my life, even if it
means bringing this relationship to an end?
Bottom Line
In my life, God asked me to give up someone good so He
could give me someone better.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these
things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33). God has not
called us to "missionary dating." In other words, it’s not your
responsibility to date a nonChristian guy to win him to the Lord. Trust
God to send a godly male into this guy’s path to point him to Christ.
When we like someone, it’s so easy to rationalize, make excuses
and talk ourselves into why it’s a good reason for us to be
together.
Christ wants to be absolute LORD of every single area of your life.
If He’s not in charge of your relationships as well as the rest of
your life, it’s time to re-evaluate where you stand with Him.
This article appeared in Brio
magazine. Copyright © 2001 Donna Clark Goodrich. Illustration by Dave Clegg. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.Hey, we'd love to have some feedback from you! If you've got a comment about this article, send it to Brio@briomag.com. Please include your name, age, mailing address and the title of this article.
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