Is Our Friendship Fading?
by Shannon Caster
For the past few years you and your best friend have been inseparable. You were in the same class and spent every weekend hanging out. Now things are changing, and you’re wondering what’s happening. Here are five signs your friendship needs some space and what to do in the meantime.
1. She’s hanging out with other friends. There was a time it was just the two of you. Now she’s hanging out with other friends. You feel hurt and alone, and this is to be expected. But don’t worry—it’s normal for girls to make new friends as they get older. Pick up on her lead. If she invites you over to hang out with her new friends, it’s a sign she wants all of you to be friends. If not, call up a few girls from your Spanish class and get together for a movie. Give your best friend room to make new friends.
2. She didn’t eat lunch with you. As your best friend makes new friends, she’ll naturally want to eat lunch with them. New friends are exciting, and it’s hard to balance time spent with new and old friends. Find girls who have similar interests as you—ask the new girl from your church or the girl from your swim class to eat lunch with you.
3. Are we getting together this weekend? Your best friend hasn’t called about plans for the weekend. Take a breather. It’s natural to feel left out. When you see her in school, say, “Hey, call me tonight.” If she calls, try to stay positive. Ask if she wants to get together sometime. In the meantime, see how you can volunteer at your church. Can you help out in the nursery? Or organize a card-making night with girls from your youth group? Think about using your talents to serve others.
4. You’re in different after-school activities. You joined the soccer team while your best friend plays basketball. You may be thinking that if you had joined the same activity you would still be superclose. But before you drop soccer and join the basketball team, give it some time. Your best friend will probably meet new friends, and you can do the same. You’ll find it’s easier to share soccer stories with your soccer team.
5. She ignored you today. You said hi to your best friend, and she walked right by you. You’re sure she heard you, but she didn’t even look over. You’re hurt and confused. Give your friendship some room. Pushing too hard can send her running in the other direction. Let her be the one to call you. Use this as a time to explore who you are. Embrace the chance God’s given you to rediscover yourself. You’ll develop new friendships that will take you into the next phase of your life.
This article appeared in Brio
magazine in January 2007. Copyright © 2007 Shannon Caster. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.Hey, we'd love to have some feedback from you! If you've got a comment about this article, send it to Brio@briomag.com. Please include your name, age, mailing address and the title of this article.
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