Ready for my first real relationship, I disregarded the virtue of patience and began to hope for something more than friendship. I'd hoped, and sometimes believed, that I'd found my perfect match. And within a few fast-moving weeks, I comfortably came to the conclusion that it felt like I’d known him for years. In fact, I felt closer to him than I felt to any of my closest friends with a confidence that shouldn't have come so quickly. I liked him until I really liked him. I really liked him until I really, really liked him. And I really, really liked him—until he stopped talking to me.

A New Angle
A few magnificent months came and went, and at the end, I sat alone, nursing an unexpectedly broken heart returned by a boy who had taken off for good. My mind replayed every memory every day like the scenes from a scintillating movie ruined by a horrible ending.

What happened? I wondered. What are You trying to tell me? I prayed. And from a horrible ending, God taught me a great, and much-needed, lesson, a lesson we all need to learn.

Healing after a relationship ends can be a rough road. For a while, your mind will continue to replay the relationship over and over, just as mine did. But if you let Him, God can show you each scene from a brand-new angle. And in my case, through God's lens, the once-alluring boy didn't seem so admirable. Why couldn't I see these things, Lord, before becoming so close to him? I prayed for understanding and reached for my Bible.

I took a look at Song of Solomon. More than once, most notably in chapter 8, I found the following phrase: "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Could I have jumped into this relationship too quickly? And the more I pondered the possibility, the more clarity I found.

Practicing Patience
Attraction naturally tempts us to expose even our deepest feelings to the object of our affection, and being emotionally vulnerable with anyone can create a hopelessly strong attachment—the sort of attachment that blinds us to traits that we'd otherwise find unpleasant.

It's important to be sure that pursuing something more than friendship with a guy is a good idea before jumping at the chance. And sifting through his manners and habits before becoming emotionally intimate is a good way to approach surety about the guys who catch our eyes.

Sharing emotions before we know that we should could set off love’s alarm clock long before love should be awakened. I learned this lesson the tough way: there’s absolutely nothing wrong with fostering a friendship first, even if you find someone exceptionally enthralling. Practicing the patience I'd disregarded will help you spend some important time getting to know guys simply as friends. You'll be more likely to walk away with needed knowledge and genuine friendships rather than a series of sappy daydreams, and his habits—good and bad—won't go unnoticed.

If love didn't desire to arise now, when will it wake up? I recall wondering, disheartened, before realizing the importance of patience. If, as I did, you happen to find that a once special someone isn't as enthralling as you'd hoped, don't be discouraged. Be patient.