The paper, once sporting pure white roses, was grimy with fingerprints and wrinkled from the numerous times it had been unwrapped and rewrapped. It even looked as though it had been stomped on once or twice. On the gift tag several names were written then crossed out, and finally the name of the groom was scrawled over the others.

Inside, the present, once beautiful and pure, lay soiled, torn and broken.

Who would so carelessly place this gift upon the table waiting for the groom to open?

It Wasn’t Always This Way
Once, the gift had been perfect. Too beautiful and precious to be purchased with money, designed to not only attract the husband but also to cement the marriage, making the two one. The Father had placed one perfect gift into the hands of the bride to give to her beloved on their wedding day. He warned her to guard the gift well and not open it until He introduced her to her beloved, until He put His blessing on their wedding.

But the need to be loved, the pressure to fit in, the fear of losing out, caused the bride to open the gift and offer it to the first boy who showered her with attention. It’ll be OK, she thought. I’ll marry this one someday anyway.

But they grew apart, he moved on, she grew sad, the gift was torn, and when the next chance for a little happiness came along, she opened up the gift again and offered it. It was easier this time: The tape didn’t hold so well, the ribbon was already loose, but once again the couple grew apart, and now the gift was stained. Because of its use, the gift lost value to the bride-to-be, and she pulled it out whenever she needed diversion or to fill the empty space, and each time it grew more worn and lost more luster.

She told herself it didn’t matter. She told herself all people opened their gifts before marriage. She rationalized that it was the only way to attract a man. And though the gift brought her attention, it didn’t bring the love she desired.

After having her heart broken several times, she finally thought back on what the Father had told her. At that point, she put the gift aside and waited. One day she met her beloved, and he was everything she hoped.

What a Gift!
“I have a perfect gift for you,” he told her. “My Father gave it to me to save for our wedding night. I long to open it for you now, but it will be worth the wait.”

The bride hid her tears while he spoke, but she went weeping before her Father with her stained and battered gift.

“I’m so sorry, Father, that I gave the gift away before You chose my groom. Can You give me a new one? I don’t want to give my groom this broken gift.”

The Father smiled sadly and took the gift in His hands.

“I had a reason for my warning, but I want you to know that I will always love you. I can make you whole again, my child, but I cannot make the gift whole again. I will touch his eyes to see your gift as good, but the patches and stains will still remain.”

And so the bride put her crumpled gift on the wedding table, trusting the Father would help her husband find her gift as perfect as the one she would receive.

Our Crumpled World
We live in a society that pushes sexuality at every turn. The clothes we wear, advertisements, movies, songs and television all glorify sex as a normal part of dating. But that isn’t the way the Lord intended it to be used. He tells us to flee sexual immorality for a reason. (See 2 Corinthians 6:18.)

God gave us our sexuality to use as a wonderful wedding present to bless our marriages. When we live outside of His plan for sex we find ourselves reaping the consequences. Sometimes we’re lucky to walk away with only a broken heart and a lower self-worth; other times we become hardened or callous toward men.

You probably know more than a dozen young women who are raising children on their own, because they didn’t wait for the man God chose for them. Although your friends may never tell you, you also probably know more than a dozen young women who are reaping the physical effects of sexually transmitted infections, infertility or even life-threatening diseases such as AIDS and Hepatitis C.

If you’ve made a pledge of purity, keep it!

If you made the mistake of giving up your wedding gift before your wedding night, know that God doesn’t take away the consequences of your sin, but He’s willing to make you whole again. He’ll give you a virgin heart and help you flee from temptation. God is the giver of everything good. We have to trust that He’ll make it worth the wait.

But What About . . .
If you’ve been forced to give up your virginity, know that God doesn’t hold that against you! Seek help from a professional Christian counselor or an adult in your church for the hurts that you’ve suffered and let God use them to heal you.

If you need help finding a Christian counselor, Focus on the Family can make a referral in your area. Call 719-531-3400 from 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. (MST) Monday through Friday and ask for the counseling department.