Wanting other people to trust you is part of growing up and being grown up. But remember, trust isn’t a feeling. It’s something we learn from other people through their actions.
Think of someone you trust: a parent, brother or sister, friend, teacher. Why do you trust these people? Because they’ve shown you over time that they can be trusted. If you want your parents to trust you more, you have to show them through your actions that you can be trusted. This can’t be done in a day or even a week, but you can gradually do things to help your parents build trust in you. Here are seven suggestions.
1. One More Chore
Do things around the house that you don’t have to do. Take on an extra chore or expand on a chore you already do. For example, if it’s your responsibility to clear the dishes from the dinner table every night, go ahead and rinse them and put them in the dishwasher, too. If you’re supposed to make your bed every morning, straighten your bedroom while you’re at it.
2. The I’s Have It
Instead of saying to your parents “You don’t trust me!” try saying things like “I really feel bad when I think you don’t trust me” or “I feel like you don’t trust me when you say I have to be home early.”
And, if you get in trouble for something, instead of arguing or making excuses, just say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong” or “OK, I understand.” People who can be trusted know when they’ve made a mistake and can take responsibility for it.
Apologize to your parents for something wrong you’ve done that they don’t even know about! Talk about being trustworthy!
3. Anybody Home?
Come home early. If you have a curfew, get home a few minutes before you’re required to be. When you’re out with friends, call your parents to check in. Don’t wait for them to call you.
4. Keep the Change
Go shopping and don’t buy anything! This shows your parents that you can be trusted with money and that you take your spending seriously, whether it’s their money or yours.
5. Take Care
Take great care of your things. Maintain a clean bedroom, keep your clothes off the floor and don’t leave your stuff all over the house. If you show you can be trusted with things, you’re more likely to be trusted with actions.
6. What’s Up?
Let your parents know what’s going on at school and with your friends. If you truly can be trusted, then you have nothing to hide, right? Let your parents hear what you’re talking about with your friends. Keep your bedroom door open when you’re talking on the phone. Let them see what you’re looking at on the Internet. Invite your friends to your house to meet your parents.
