Ten-hutt! As Brio’s new Phys Ed coach, I feel it’s only fair to warn you that the days of slacking off are over! It’s time to get up and get moving! It’s time to have that six-pack you’ve dreamed about, and I don’t mean Coke! I’m talking abs. It’s time to start working on those thighs, and by thighs I don’t mean a fried chicken part!
It’s time to get your heart pumping blood through your veins instead of just glaze from all those Krispy Kreme donuts. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that any of the aforementioned food items are bad. They’re just bad in bulk. So let’s get going!
Now, Ms. Penelope (sometimes I talk about myself in the third person for effect) used to be like so many others—a slacker, a sloth, a sluggard of epic proportions. You couldn’t get me out of bed for anything. Even my dreams were about sleeping.
But all of that’s changed. Since becoming the new Phys Ed coach for Brio magazine, I feel a sense of obligation to get—and to stay—in shape. Every morning I run 12 miles before driving to school. If my driveway wasn’t on such a steep incline, and if I’d remember to engage the emergency brake, I wouldn’t have to run that far every single day just to catch my car.
Fit for Life
Every month in this column, I’m going to teach you to do all sorts of healthy things. We’re going to do stretching exercises—and not just with your allowance. We’re going to cover all the sports, and I’ll teach you ways to play that you never even thought of. I’m also going to give you my thoughts on a lot more than physical fitness. I’ll talk about school, friends, nutrition, current events and anything else that might come my way. You can even write and give me suggestions on what topic you’d like Penelope to cover. (See, third person again. I just can’t help it.)
I hope you’ll enjoy the new Phys Ed column and the topics we’ll cover here. Physical fitness is important. We need to step up to the plate and run that touchdown and score more three-point baskets in life.
I won’t leave you just standing on the sidelines or warming the bench. I’ll run with you all the way to the goal, past the opposing goalie and the halfbacks and the shortstop, so that one day you’ll be able to look back on this, your defining moment when you dove into the deep end and managed to roll a perfect 300, knocking down all the pins and executing a perfect homerun as you swam all the way to the end of the pool in record time! Sound like a plan?
Until next time, your homework assignment is to eat a snack, run some laps, then take a well-deserved nap. Not necessarily in that order.
She’s Back!
Martha Bolton authored “The Cafeteria Lady” for Brio for 15 years. Now we’ve brought her back as Ms. P.E. Coach to give you a belly laugh in every issue! Let us know what you think of the new column by writing us at brio@briomag.com.
